Care of the R & D scientist @ Dangus labs.

“It’s a mass meditation to stop the dude’s pacemaker.

A shitload of people contacted me when I first suggested it a month or

so ago, expressing both interest and amusement. The reason I picked

this date is because it’s the one year anniversary of his most recent

cardiological exam. Lots of hate has undoubtedly been directed at our

former VP over the last 8 or 9 years, but I submit that no one has

focused much attention on this little device that keeps his wicked old

ticker going. Well,. that needs to change! So let’s DO DIS!

I’m

guessing most of you are off work on Sunday, but even if you’re not,

just take a few moments to focus your mental energies on making the

pacemaker putt out. If you need help with visualization, just imagine

the thing slowly turning into a Yugo (see below), which then throws a

rod in the desert. Maybe pour a little beer into the gas tank for good

measure. I bet Cheney likes to pour beer into his own gas tank anyway

(especially while he’s out hunting birds), so that seems quite fitting.

Alternatively,

you can have him fall victim to a rabid sasquatch in the woods, who

then removes the still-pumping pacemaker from his nefarious chest.

The date is Sunday, July 12. Folks, let’s do this for the betterment of humanity!

yrs.,

heck/dang”